Just so we're clear for the future...

Donny Yankees had our playoff rotation starting all garbage games in the final series of the season.  Just something for the memory banks for this time next week.

FUBB

Those long time readers of the blog back in its old form (read: ME) remember this acronym.  That stands for

Fucked
Up
By
Bullpen

Folks, it was a shit weekend in Atlanta for the Dodge, and while the hitting was all over the place (mostly not for a hit) this is all on Donny Yankees and the bullpen.  Atlanta is a good team...don't think I expected the Dodgers to steamroll the Braves, but LA lost all 3 games; Atlanta was merely the beneficiary.

Our need for solid bullpen performances and a manager who knows how to manage pitchers becomes more evident by the day.

Friday
Bottom of the 6th, Dodgers lead 4-2

Ryu has thrown exactly 100 pitches.  He didn't bat in the 6th, but that doesn't matter.  The rulebook Joe left for Donny says, unless it's Kershaw, yank 'em.

Grrrrr gets an out, gives up a hit, Crawford commits an error.  He is relieved.

Rodriguez throws a walk, gives up a 3 run zonk, throws a walk, then gets the remaining 2 outs. 

It only got worse - Belisario gives up 2 runs thanks to a Crawford error and the usual pitching.

Donny, Carl, and the bullpen take the defeat.

Saturday
Bottom of the 8th, Dodgers lead 1-0

Chris Capuano, he who is out of gas and should be in New Mexico, is pitching out of his mind.  It's a rare treat, one that might (well, not really, but maybe) turn things around for him.  Motoring through, he gets 1 out in the 8th and gives up a hit.  He's not even at Donny's magical 100 pitches...and the recap says Cap tells Donny to be prepared to take him out because his calf is hurting.  Why then?  Why not after the inning?  If you ARE going to take him out, why have him bat in the top of the 8th?  We'll never know.

Jansen comes in, gives up a 2 run zonk, then for good measure, a solo home run.

Dodgers get 1 run on 2 hits.  McSteroid, Donny, and Kenley take the defeat.

Sunday
Bottom of the 8th, Dodgers lead 2-1

Matt Magill, through 5, is looking good.  1 run, 4 hits, 8 strike outs.  But you knew it.  I knew it.  It was a matter of time until someone in the bullpen let the magic fly.  For dramatics sake, it was crunch time...

Jansen, remaining in the game (stunning that Donny would keep a bullpen pitcher in multiple innings) loads the bases, complimented by an error in the infield.  Let's see...bases loaded, 1 run game, no outs.  Who do I turn to?

Here comes Mr. Helper!

League gives up a single (run scores), sac fly (run scores), single (run scores), sac fly (run scores), a walk, and then thankfully a strike out.

I'm out of words.

Dodgers get 2 runs on 3 hits.  McSteroid, Kenley and Mr. League take the defeat.

I'm out of mad Tommy pictures.  I'm losing interest in this team, and the mismanagement therein.  A team with "pinch hitters" who can even bat .100.  Pitchers removed from the game when they're hot.  Fielding from the North Valley Little League.

Ned and Donny.  Always on the sunny side.  Always optimistic.  Always "seeing good things" and "improvements" after being swept by better teams.

Prove me wrong.  I'd love to be wrong in this situation.  But the way you're doing things...   

Mild recovery

The Dodgers' bleeding finally ended in playing the Marlins (as is the case for most teams) but all is not well.  Sunday's game proved all you need to know.

Cap started, and while he kept that explosive Marlins offense in check, he couldn't even make it to 80 pitches.  Ugh.

Feeling comfortable with a 4 run lead, Donny Yankees puts in (sigh) Brandon League.

Check out this line
1 IP
2 R
3 H
ERA now 6.28

Brandon League sucks.

I am at a loss of words for why he is playing so bad, why he's allowed to play, and why he isn't in Albuquerque right now.

Years ago, when the Dodgers bullpen was truly horrible, Donovan Brandt and I used to say there had to be at least a 5 run lead for us to accept the bullpen's fate to end the game.  Was the "5 run cushion" reached?  If so, there are no worries.  Apparently, this rule will have to be extended to League.

When Drew Boatman was writing on the blog he once said moments like this shouldn't be considered "saves" but more "thank Christ it's over."  League wasn't awarded a "save" but he did his best to turn a 4 run lead into just that. 

I have to end with this quote from CBS Sports on League, because it explains so much:

"(In his last 3 appearances) he is 0-2 with a 13.64 ERA over that span, but manager Don Mattingly said earlier this week that he will remain the team's closer."

Helpful Information for Brandon League

We're averaging a different person in the office each day.  Sit down, Brandon.

OK, first off, you're the team's closer and we're doing the talking here, so "mouth closed" is an important policy you will follow...understand?  Secondly, and I don't know if you talked to Chris on the way out--you didn't?  Nobody talked to you?!  That's our mistake.  Well, just to give you a review: our manager Donny Yankees is interested in sending the team into the toilet rather than win--you don't think so?

How about we review your stats?  Donny considers you a "closer."  As a rule, you pitch 1 inning, maybe 2 at the most.  The other rule is you are to "close" the game, preventing a loss.  This has been difficult for you, huh?

Stats are one thing, you say?  Well, your ERA is 5.40.  So if you are pitching 1 inning, shouldn't--OK, I'll stop with the stats.  Here are some recent headlines:

"Brandon League keeping Kenley Jansen in the picture"

"Brandon League escapes with save No. 7"

"Brandon League serves up walk-off homer"

"Brandon League delivers second straight loss"

Look, I'm through giving you evidence.  We're wasting time.  You'll take Southwest Airlines, and...are you familiar with Albuquerque at all?  You've seen the facilities.  It's a fine town - it's got everything you'd want and more. The clubhouse manager has taken the liberty of packing your items for the trip.  This voucher is good all day, but if you hustle you can make the 12:30PM flight...that's nonstop.  When you get there, look for a kid in an Isotopes jacket.  He'll take you to the Hawthorn Suites.  The gal at the check-in desk already has your information.

I'm looking online here and it says the BioPark Zoo just welcomed a baby giraffe.  See, you'll have fun there, and get back your "command."  Thanks, Brandon.

The Los Angeles Intensive Care Units

Yowzer...one month in, and whatever the stakes and predictions were for the Dodgers this season, the results are below...and getting worse. 

The Dodge began the season with and overabundance of starters, and refused to commit to the 5.  The season started with this group:
Kershaw
Ryu
Beckett
Greinke
Billingsley

Ted Lilly, who shouldn't be on the team, was eventually forced down to Albuquerque.  This left two other starters...Aaron Harang and Chris Capuano.  What happened, and what did Ned do to adjust?

1. Harang was sent to Colorado for catcher Ramon Hernandez.  Oh good, we now employ a catcher who has 1 hit in 18 at bats.  The Rockies end up trading Harang to Seattle.  How's he doing?  Currently 1-3 with an 8.68 ERA.  A push if there ever was one.

2.  Billingsley thought he was healthy.  He was not.  By the 2nd start we found that arm to need the ol TJ surgery.  That opens up a spot for minor leaguer (who was called up last year) Stephen Fife.  Fife has pitched 1 game (literally called up the night before) and couldn't even go 5 innings.  Naturally, Fife is now injured as well.

3. Capuano was sent by Mattingly to the bullpen.  Cap didn't like this.  He didn't look good out of the bullpen, and thanks to injuries in the rotation, was made a starter again.  Didn't look too good, either.  Naturally, he is now injured.


4. Greinke was injured in a brawl by a filthy San Diego Padre...who wisely avoided playing in LA the following week.  Out through May at least.  I guess that means Ted Lilly. 

5. Lilly has 2 starts, currently 0-1 with a 5.63 ERA.  Not horrible enough to be sent down but guess who else is injured.  Ted just got a cortisone shot in a rib.

This leaves the Dodgers with 4 healthy starters in the rotation.  Two are good (Billingsley and Ryu).  One is average to bad (Beckett).  One is a minor leaguer who looked all right in his one start (Matt Magill).  That's it.  That's your starting group.  And as much as I'd want to normally cut and adjust the pitching, there aren't enough bodies to do so.  The rest in Albuquerque aren't worth the call. 

In terms of bats, thank goodness Hanley has returned.  He did so hitting a home run Vin labeled "Sky High."  This solves some of the problems.  Luis Cruz, the man who was to be the 3rd baseman this year based on his excellent 2012 campaign, is batting a scant .088.  Bye.

Donny Yankees continues to keep Skip Schumaker around.  He's in the infield, outfield, and pitching.  In sum, it's a .128 average that isn't helping at all except pitching the 9th of a blowout loss because Donny, using his Torre method, has used everyone in the bullpen.  Bye.

Hernandez...mentioned him above, but it's worth saying again.  I'd like to be a back-up catcher who can just watch called strike 3's sail by me.  I can turn and yell at no one in particular and wander back to the dugout.  Bye.

Hitting coach Mark McSteroid hasn't exactly been a good luck charm.  Guys like Ethier and Kemp used to be great hitters.  Now, the team has to count on Gonzalez and Crawford to be the sole providers of runs, as the Dodgers have one of the highest left on base totals in the National League.  How does someone like Matt Kemp become a guy who's "pressing" in at-bats?  I really hope Mark isn't changing what wasn't broken.  Though I suppose if you get a shot in the rump each morning, no matter your swing, it will be a home run.  Right, Bud?

Albuquerque has two guys worth bringing up: catcher Tim Ferdowicz who's batting an insane .514 with 4 home runs.  Sounds good.  A back-up outfielder, Matt Angle, is currently .312...also worth a go.  But whether either guy gets called up, the question remains: why is the front office so passive?  Why do they react instead of act? 


Knowing them, I'm sure Magic, Peter and the gang want to open up the checkbook and get someone else...but if you're truly going to solve the shitstains from McCourt, scouting and talent evaluation has to be improved.  If you don't have any rising stars in the minors worth using, what good is it to sit in your own shit?  A change like that can't occur overnight, but you'd be hard pressed to find it happening 1 month into the season.

Movin' in, move 'em out

Things may seem like a fucking non-stop party out here for us Dodger fans.  Slimeball McSleeeze no longer owns the team AND we (haha, right, "we") have the best record in baseball.  So, no changes?

(Before I begin, I just want to summarize McSleeze's ownership to the following point: money from international scouting was nearly drained while McSleeze "bought" another house in Malibu that was for "laundry only")

All I can say is that the following players will be lucky each hallway has stacks of moving boxes because said players should be doing the packing up themselves...to ol NM.

Donny Mustache has a relatively solid infield right now.  (This helps as "managing" still seems to give him trouble)  Dee Gordon is a bit suspect because the whole "don't have to swing at every pitch" thing has yet to enter his gourd.  Second to that would be "don't have to try to steal a base every pitch" but I get the feeling it makes Davey Lopes laugh.  Swing man is Jerry Hairston...which is fine, because he's currently succeeding.

So, if this is the case, would you two gentlemen see Mr. Lasorda in his office?

Justin Sellers


(Photo taken at youth birthday party held at Dodger Stadium)

Justin has seen some mid-game action at short when Donny does a double switch and an occasional start.  Donny praises him as "tough as can be" but so is Justin's ability to get a hit.  Justin hit over .300 in ALB last year...let him get some seasoning there and then if you insist, give this 3 for 17 guy a try.

Adam Kennedy


(Cheeeeeeese)

Adam must have compromising photos of someone in the front office.  Guy is 2 for 21.  Might want to look into a career in insurance.  Or auto sales.  Maybe a bank teller...you're a social guy, we'll give you new accounts.

Honestly...that ain't bad if the rest is worth sorting out.  The bullpen...well...let's just say Mr Guerra just kept his job last night as a 7-2 lead when Lilly left the game turned to 7-6 thanks to this "relief."  I was prepping a failure blog post when Javy held the fail at bay.

I've written on this blog about the Dodge's favorable schedule, but they did just sweep the 1st place Nats over the weekend.  Yet look what happens when they lose (keep in mind, as of this writing they are 17-7):

Loss at Milwaukee April 17th

OBP-482 April 18, 2012 12:09 amDodgers finally played a real baseball team, with predictable results.

Loss vs. Atlanta April 24th

Willie Dog April 25, 2012 1:51 amYou have to play teams other than san diego , pittsburg and houston . The Dodgers record will adjust to the competition and become a 3rd place team in the west soon after .

Loss at Colorado April 30th

West Coast Guy May 1, 2012 6:20 amFunny how the Dodgers don't do so well when they don't face a steady diet of the AAA Padres on their schedule!

Those are some very salty BIGG DOGGZ SPORTS ZONE FANZ that don't like it when the Dodgers win.  Well, all I can do is apologize to those 3 enterprising CBS comment kings and remind them (in-between their re-heating of the Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls) that this month has brought us a new era...new owners, new deals, and less sleeeeeeese.