LaTroy Hawkins never changes. Thank god!

Ah LaTroy...so many years of failure...and so enjoyable.

The "E.Z. Gas" years with the Twins, including the year where his ERA was 6.66...

The Cubs seasons, where he personally made sure they didn't make the playoffs...

His time with the Yankees, which included this gem from 2008 (right before he was released)

LaTroy Hawkins has been suspended three games for throwing an inside, head-high pitch to Baltimore Orioles left fielder Luke Scott

In said game, he did that twice, and missed twice!

The 2010 Brewers season, when he had an ERA of 8+...

It was that season that came to mind late last night, as Hawkins arrived in the 9th to "save" the game for the Mets.  Yes, he still pitches...and there he was in a pressure situation.  My memory tied 2010 with last night to one player: Andre Ethier.

2010
Bottom of the 9th, tie game.  LaTroy loads the bases and faces Andre.

WHOOPS!

(Look at LaTroy's face.  Uh oh.)

2013

Bottom of the 9th, Mets up 2.  Hawkins gives up a single to Mark Ellis, and then Jerry Harriston Jr. hits a comebacker (no pun intended) to LaTroy's junk.  Right to the junk.  LaTroy, of course not wearing a cup, and whose crotch is hurting, stays in the game.

("A stretcher for his balls?!")


Maybe it won't hurt if...hey - is that Andre Ethier?

WHOOPS!

The Dodgers go on to sweep the Mets in 12 innings thanks to Gonzo doing what he does on a daily basis.  By that time, LaTroy was icing down yet another failure.

Chris Capuano pitched and naturally looked over-whelmed.  Brandon League and Carlos Marmol were also involved...and the Dodgers STILL won.  But let there be no discussion: LaTroy was last night's hero.

Clearing the Table

(Toward the end of dinner, baseball legend and famous eater Tommy Lasorda began to discuss the Dodgers recent good fortune, including sweeping Tampa Bay)

The guy was playing the piano, but the singer was always standing by him, she didn't work the room.  Turns out, the guy on the piano had the singer feed him ravioli as he played.  Never seen that before.  First time I was in Palm Springs, too.

Sure, I'm ready for desert.  What do we have?  Uh huh.  OK...sure, might as well bring it all out.  You know, we were at Trattoria Marcella in St. Louis and I told all those windbag writers that this week was the measuring stick.  Remember how I told you that you can tell a lot about a restaurant by smelling the garlic bread?  Well, the same with this past week.  4 at St. Louis, seems like they'll be in the playoffs...and 3 at home against Tampa Bay.  They were in first.  But 6-1?  Sweeping the Rays?  I'll tell you where we measure on the breadstick - right at the top!

When I was at the game Friday night, and we're down 6 to nothing, I did what I could to get the team on track.  I gave some base-running signals to Wallach, and I told our chef Dave Pearson to get me my lucky fork.  I don't use this very often, but this was a big series!  So he gets it out, cleans the dried tomato off the handle, and has an open-face prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella sandwich delivered to my seat.  I tell ya - this was the first time in the game I was nervous.  I'd never brought the fork outside the dining room.  Then, as I'm eating, Magic Johnson sees it and he's all smiles.  "Wow, Tommy!  That looks delicious!  Are you finished?  I'd love to eat the rest if you're done.  You know, one time Pat Riley--"  I told him to can it.  I'm eating, and more importantly, I'm eating to help the team!  You all saw what happened.  I finished that sandwich in the blink of an eye.  And we won, too.

Then, on Sunday (belch) whoop.  Whew...that one...OK, Dave, that desert coming?  Yeah, let's start with the molasses cookies.  MMMM...no, I don't need milk, but you can open another of my award winning wines.  Goes good with everything, especially winning!  Ah, butter pecan ice cream!  Wonderful...do you have whipped cream for those strawberries?  I thought so.

When you're hot, you're hot

Last night was simply a thing of beauty.  You're hearing and reading a lot about the Dodgers play of late, but nothing compares to last night.  How this could be the team I wrote about a little over a month ago is the same team now, I don't know.  But when you have the following pitching:
Chris Capuano
Carlos Marmol
Brandon League
Kenley Jansen nearly blowing a save, for texture
...and Nick Punto playing like I told you he would: 0-5 on a night when everyone else got a hit...

...you don't win the game.  When it was 8-3 after the 6th inning, I said aloud (to, it turns out, no one interested) that I didn't like the fact that the Dodgers in essence forfeit every 5th game when Cap pitches.

Then the tide turned.

After playing UCLA ball in the 7th, the 8th inning came around.  Gonzo and Either with dongs, and we have the lead...and somehow (despite the list mentioned at the start of the article) the Dodgers win.

Just as when you're in a slump you find ways to lose, when you're truly hot you win games like that.  Still can't believe it.

Of course, the first I read of this crediting Donny Mustache at all for this win, I'm throwing the monitor out the window.