I saw it with my own eyes

I was there at Dodger Stadium last night.  I saw the Snakes do their batting around Kershaw, yet K remained effective.  I saw Puig continue to get hits.  I saw first base umpire Clint Fagan call Jerry Hairston out when he was safe by at least a step.  The worst part of that horrific call?  The Dodgers did their usual fucking up, keeping the lead at 3-1 going into the ninth.

I knew something wrong was about to happen...and it wasn't the Cool-a-coo ice cream sandwich I was eating (an intriguing concoction of chocolate, ice cream, and sawdust)

Folks, I was sitting at Loge level when I began screaming.  Pleading.  Trying to get the attention of any usher I could find.  Short of running on to the field, I tried my best to prevent what was next. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you're attention please.  Now pitching for the Dodgers, Brandon League."

(Indifference.  You readers know what music should be played.  Take it, "Slim" Jim Koehler)
 
Miguel Montero struck out.  (I've seen that start before.  By the way, the scoreboard implored the lemmings to "Get Loud" after that strike out.  The suggestion was ignored.)

Martin Prado gets a single.  (I know what happens next)

Gerardo Parra gets a double, Prado to 3rd.  (This is where the "Al-bu-quer-que" chant began, and I swear I had two sections of the Loge level joining me...the rest were laughing.  Laughing at someone who we all knew was going to fail.)

Jason Kubel hits a ball toward the middle.  It's knocked down.  Prado scores.  Parra to 3rd, Kubel safe at first.

"Chat-a-nooo-ga"  (Clap Clap ClapClapClap)  (A woman sitting behind us says that's "cruel but accurate.")

Someone named Didi Gregorius gets a walk to load em up. 

"COO-CA-MUN-GA" (Clap Clap ClapClapClap)  (The woman behind us says "It's like we're the Cubs."  I tell her I was a Cubs fan until I had to end that bad relationship.  Pause.  "Then this is all your fault.")

A.J. Pollock pops out to Ellis.  (Dear God, 2 outs...if this wasn't League...)

Willie Bloomquist gets an infield single where TWO RUNS SCORE?!

(I haven't seen 2 runs score on an infield single since watching my sister's 4th grade softball team struggle through a win-less season.)

Peter Moylan comes in to give up another of League's runners while Brandon is told he should just give it up.  The Dodgers, once up 3-1, are now down 5-3.  

Brandon's ERA is now

6

(We all just shake our heads)

The Bottom of the 9th saw the Dodgers get within a run and have runners at the corners with no one out.  No one came close to scoring.  We slowly leave the stadium having snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

Folks if there is a game to encapsulate the 2013 Los Angeles Dodgers season, it's this one.  It has it all:

• Injuries
• Effective starting pitching pulled at random
• Double switches, a Donny Yankees favorite
• Minimal runs but a lot of hits
• Brandon League getting diarrhea on the mound in the 9th
• The Dodgers just missing a win, losing to a team they should beat
• Out-managed again

I'm out of a voice today, but it was for a good cause: I was warning those around me of impending doom, yet was powerless to stop it.  Brandon League sucks, and I hope Ned remembers that every 2 weeks when that jumbo check is handed to #31.