That uncomfortable feeling

Tommy Lasorda! You're renowned as a baseball manager and eater. Right after the Dodgers were on a roll, they were completely whitewashed by the Angels. Mike Scioscia no doubt takes after you with his team and diet, but after a week of such highs and lows, how do YOU spell relief?

Back at it, doing what we do!

KCAL, Channel 9 sports, now turns to baseball legend Tommy Lasorda for his Dodger-


Yeah, that was real fu- funny you taking pictures of me while I was catching a quick catnap in-between innings last week. I almost swore on the air there. Pretty interesting pregame show we have here on channel 9. You got Gary Miller, who's doing local sports cause ESPN fired him. And you got Eric Karros, a walking shampoo ad. Well, the Big Pisan is here to let you know how it is!

We've seen some excellent play from the Dodgers of late. We're back in first place where we belong, and we swept the NL Central-leading Cardinals! Do you know the last time that happened? It was 1988. It's taken the Dodgers that long to sweep the birds? Been a lot of years where they were nothing special. But 1988 was a special year. Who can forget it? What? Yeah, Gary, every remembers Gibson's home run. Sheesh. Let me tell you about one you don't know.

Back in the 80s, Whitey Herzog was the Cards manager. He's a great guy, and him and Billy Martin are nearly unmatched at a bar. Now, I like to take my sips leisurely...which you can do with Lasorda Wines. They're award winning, and available at finer wine shops here in Southern California.

Anyway, game 2 of the 88 World Series is near it's start, and I know La Russa is doing his prep. Probably shoving Canseco and McGuire full of roids. But I'm nervous and pacing. The players were full of pep, too: Mickey Hatcher ran around the parking lot 3 times. But he always did that before games. So, I leave the locker room and there I see Herzog with Jack Buck. He's doing the radio call. They're in the middle of some Cardinal love-fest, but Whitey stops to talk to me. Just then Marv Albert passes us, and I get him to talk to Jack and distract him. Now I got Whitey alone, and we start a strategy. We're gonna give Mike Marshall the green light every at-bat. They'll never see it coming. I had the Bulldog on the mound, and Orel would have pitched 23 shut-out innings in that game if he needed to. We shut them out 6-0, and Orel pitched a 3-hitter.

So, after the game, I told Whitey I was going to get him back. I paid Dave Pearson, our chef here, to stay late. Whitey and I had linguine and Sicilian sausages and dined in my clubhouse dining room until the early morning. I downed two bottles of Chianti and Whitey drank a 12 pack of Busch. And the whole time it was happening, Marv Albert did the play by play of us eating! That jerk said the A's would even up the series in game 2. All the bash brothers hit was the needle and their hair dryer!

Well, Bud's legacy rears it's head again, and the Angels are up here. Mike's got his boys playing better - we can't let up. Get in there, guys!

Bloof!

Ok, woah. Sportsline has been known to lie to me before, but I about swallowed my cheez whiz on this one:

Travis Hafner (5) Grand Slam to right off Bonser, Kearns, Branyan, Peralta scored.

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

I guess I just figured Boof fucking Bonser would do the honorable thing after he left the Twins, and that would be by setting his body aflame.

But no. He's back. And he pitches for the Red Sox.

Working Overtime

(With the Dodgers sweeping the sad sack Diamondbacks, and two of the games going extra-innings, we turn to The Big Pisan for his thoughts on these games, and the trends of today. Tommy?)

(Tommy, do you remember managing games like yesterday's 14 inning pitcher's duel?)

(Tommy, are we seeing a pitching renaissance with all these perfect games, near-perfect games, and 1-0 tilts? Tommy? Hello? Italian Sausage. Bologna. Hello? Tommy?)