Grace Under Fire?

MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN -- Well, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad, eh?  Amidst a brushfire of rumors and rampant speculation about Donnie’s fate as skipper of the Doyers, the boys in blue came out swinging Wednesday at Miller Park, winning the rubber match 9-2 on a whopping 12 hits.  LHP Hyun-Jin Ryu contained the Beer Makers with 7 1/3 innings of 2-run ball, notching his 5^th win to give fantasy owners a hump-day treat.

Here are a few notes to tide you over 'til Happy Hour:

He has the chops, but will get the playing time?

• No Andre Ethier.  Donnie plugged Andy Van Slyke’s boy into RF this afternoon, telling reporters, “I’m putting out my lineup that I feel is going to be the most competitive and going to compete the hardest.”  You don’t get paid $85 million through 2017 to sit on the bench playing chess with the sausage crew, unless you’re Andre Ethier.  What’s more, Van Slyke had himself a healthy day at the dish, with 2 base knocks and 2 rib-eyes.  He may need a good pilsner to wash those down… 

The answer at 3B? Better late...

• Tommy Lasorda burned his rigatoni when he read that the Dodgers brass is mulling the promotion of Cuban Crusader Yasiel Puig.  When asked for his take on the matter, Lasorda grunted, “It’s not up to me. If it were up to me, I’d trade him for Mike Schmidt.” Clearly, Lasorda rues the day he gave up making the lion's share of the decisions at Chavez Ravine.
  

The Brewers have been on a slide too...

• When asked who his closer was prior to Tuesday night’s losing effort, Donnie said, “I don’t know. We’ll see… I know who I want to use. But I don’t know if I want to anoint anybody.”  Brandon League made an appearance in Wednesday’s tilt, giving up a hit over one inning to preserve a steep 9-2 lead.  Asked whether he was impressed with the veteran’s effort Wednesday, Milwaukee mascot Bernie the Brewer said “He’s in a League of his own. I was watching from atop the slide during the 7^th inning stretch, and I’ve never seen a pitcher do a keg stand like that, no offense to Beckett.”  Josh Beckett was unavailable for comment.

FUBB

Those long time readers of the blog back in its old form (read: ME) remember this acronym.  That stands for

Fucked
Up
By
Bullpen

Folks, it was a shit weekend in Atlanta for the Dodge, and while the hitting was all over the place (mostly not for a hit) this is all on Donny Yankees and the bullpen.  Atlanta is a good team...don't think I expected the Dodgers to steamroll the Braves, but LA lost all 3 games; Atlanta was merely the beneficiary.

Our need for solid bullpen performances and a manager who knows how to manage pitchers becomes more evident by the day.

Friday
Bottom of the 6th, Dodgers lead 4-2

Ryu has thrown exactly 100 pitches.  He didn't bat in the 6th, but that doesn't matter.  The rulebook Joe left for Donny says, unless it's Kershaw, yank 'em.

Grrrrr gets an out, gives up a hit, Crawford commits an error.  He is relieved.

Rodriguez throws a walk, gives up a 3 run zonk, throws a walk, then gets the remaining 2 outs. 

It only got worse - Belisario gives up 2 runs thanks to a Crawford error and the usual pitching.

Donny, Carl, and the bullpen take the defeat.

Saturday
Bottom of the 8th, Dodgers lead 1-0

Chris Capuano, he who is out of gas and should be in New Mexico, is pitching out of his mind.  It's a rare treat, one that might (well, not really, but maybe) turn things around for him.  Motoring through, he gets 1 out in the 8th and gives up a hit.  He's not even at Donny's magical 100 pitches...and the recap says Cap tells Donny to be prepared to take him out because his calf is hurting.  Why then?  Why not after the inning?  If you ARE going to take him out, why have him bat in the top of the 8th?  We'll never know.

Jansen comes in, gives up a 2 run zonk, then for good measure, a solo home run.

Dodgers get 1 run on 2 hits.  McSteroid, Donny, and Kenley take the defeat.

Sunday
Bottom of the 8th, Dodgers lead 2-1

Matt Magill, through 5, is looking good.  1 run, 4 hits, 8 strike outs.  But you knew it.  I knew it.  It was a matter of time until someone in the bullpen let the magic fly.  For dramatics sake, it was crunch time...

Jansen, remaining in the game (stunning that Donny would keep a bullpen pitcher in multiple innings) loads the bases, complimented by an error in the infield.  Let's see...bases loaded, 1 run game, no outs.  Who do I turn to?

Here comes Mr. Helper!

League gives up a single (run scores), sac fly (run scores), single (run scores), sac fly (run scores), a walk, and then thankfully a strike out.

I'm out of words.

Dodgers get 2 runs on 3 hits.  McSteroid, Kenley and Mr. League take the defeat.

I'm out of mad Tommy pictures.  I'm losing interest in this team, and the mismanagement therein.  A team with "pinch hitters" who can even bat .100.  Pitchers removed from the game when they're hot.  Fielding from the North Valley Little League.

Ned and Donny.  Always on the sunny side.  Always optimistic.  Always "seeing good things" and "improvements" after being swept by better teams.

Prove me wrong.  I'd love to be wrong in this situation.  But the way you're doing things...   

Mild recovery

The Dodgers' bleeding finally ended in playing the Marlins (as is the case for most teams) but all is not well.  Sunday's game proved all you need to know.

Cap started, and while he kept that explosive Marlins offense in check, he couldn't even make it to 80 pitches.  Ugh.

Feeling comfortable with a 4 run lead, Donny Yankees puts in (sigh) Brandon League.

Check out this line
1 IP
2 R
3 H
ERA now 6.28

Brandon League sucks.

I am at a loss of words for why he is playing so bad, why he's allowed to play, and why he isn't in Albuquerque right now.

Years ago, when the Dodgers bullpen was truly horrible, Donovan Brandt and I used to say there had to be at least a 5 run lead for us to accept the bullpen's fate to end the game.  Was the "5 run cushion" reached?  If so, there are no worries.  Apparently, this rule will have to be extended to League.

When Drew Boatman was writing on the blog he once said moments like this shouldn't be considered "saves" but more "thank Christ it's over."  League wasn't awarded a "save" but he did his best to turn a 4 run lead into just that. 

I have to end with this quote from CBS Sports on League, because it explains so much:

"(In his last 3 appearances) he is 0-2 with a 13.64 ERA over that span, but manager Don Mattingly said earlier this week that he will remain the team's closer."

Helpful Information for Brandon League

We're averaging a different person in the office each day.  Sit down, Brandon.

OK, first off, you're the team's closer and we're doing the talking here, so "mouth closed" is an important policy you will follow...understand?  Secondly, and I don't know if you talked to Chris on the way out--you didn't?  Nobody talked to you?!  That's our mistake.  Well, just to give you a review: our manager Donny Yankees is interested in sending the team into the toilet rather than win--you don't think so?

How about we review your stats?  Donny considers you a "closer."  As a rule, you pitch 1 inning, maybe 2 at the most.  The other rule is you are to "close" the game, preventing a loss.  This has been difficult for you, huh?

Stats are one thing, you say?  Well, your ERA is 5.40.  So if you are pitching 1 inning, shouldn't--OK, I'll stop with the stats.  Here are some recent headlines:

"Brandon League keeping Kenley Jansen in the picture"

"Brandon League escapes with save No. 7"

"Brandon League serves up walk-off homer"

"Brandon League delivers second straight loss"

Look, I'm through giving you evidence.  We're wasting time.  You'll take Southwest Airlines, and...are you familiar with Albuquerque at all?  You've seen the facilities.  It's a fine town - it's got everything you'd want and more. The clubhouse manager has taken the liberty of packing your items for the trip.  This voucher is good all day, but if you hustle you can make the 12:30PM flight...that's nonstop.  When you get there, look for a kid in an Isotopes jacket.  He'll take you to the Hawthorn Suites.  The gal at the check-in desk already has your information.

I'm looking online here and it says the BioPark Zoo just welcomed a baby giraffe.  See, you'll have fun there, and get back your "command."  Thanks, Brandon.

Helpful Information for Chris Capuano

Well, someone is all smiles!

That's good.  I know the Dodgers will be talking to you about this in the very near future but I thought I could help with some transportation information.

American, Southwest, and United all have non-stop flights to Albuquerque.  Of those three, you might want to choose Southwest since they don't charge a baggage fee.  That 10.38 ERA is likely heavy, so do the smart thing and have it weighed at the desk before you go through security.  You'll want to leave early for your flight as well, considering the pain of flying out of LAX. 

Don't worry about that so much - you'll enjoy your new home a lot.  It will "help" your career to "get back on track" from your injury.  It's actually a very nice area.  Don't bring up Lobos basketball, though...kind of a sore spot right now.

Yeah, I don't know about how seating works on Southwest...it's kind of like a bus.  I haven't flown them enough to know.  Again, get there early.  Thanks a lot.

Wait - that bag is team property.  You don't have your own?  OK, I think we have an old storage bag around here somewhere.  Remember, in AAA you have to bring your own bag.  Thanks again.

(Expletive)

What are you complaining about, Tommy?

I'm sick of this shit!  I'm sick of the Giants shoving us around!

Maybe they're better than you, it's got nothing to do with my call.

I'm telling you, you better toss me out of here.  We've got so many fucking injuries I can't even bring in a pitcher!

You don't trust Don Mat--

That's a fucking Yankee taking this team into the ground!  I'm the only one who gives a damn.  Toss me out of here before I slug ya.

You're not going to slug anybody, Tommy.  Get back to the dugout.

You're uglier than a shit I take after eating trail mix.

I was wrong.  YER OUTTA HERE!

Well that's good, asshole!  Only took ya a fucking hour!

The Los Angeles Intensive Care Units

Yowzer...one month in, and whatever the stakes and predictions were for the Dodgers this season, the results are below...and getting worse. 

The Dodge began the season with and overabundance of starters, and refused to commit to the 5.  The season started with this group:
Kershaw
Ryu
Beckett
Greinke
Billingsley

Ted Lilly, who shouldn't be on the team, was eventually forced down to Albuquerque.  This left two other starters...Aaron Harang and Chris Capuano.  What happened, and what did Ned do to adjust?

1. Harang was sent to Colorado for catcher Ramon Hernandez.  Oh good, we now employ a catcher who has 1 hit in 18 at bats.  The Rockies end up trading Harang to Seattle.  How's he doing?  Currently 1-3 with an 8.68 ERA.  A push if there ever was one.

2.  Billingsley thought he was healthy.  He was not.  By the 2nd start we found that arm to need the ol TJ surgery.  That opens up a spot for minor leaguer (who was called up last year) Stephen Fife.  Fife has pitched 1 game (literally called up the night before) and couldn't even go 5 innings.  Naturally, Fife is now injured as well.

3. Capuano was sent by Mattingly to the bullpen.  Cap didn't like this.  He didn't look good out of the bullpen, and thanks to injuries in the rotation, was made a starter again.  Didn't look too good, either.  Naturally, he is now injured.


4. Greinke was injured in a brawl by a filthy San Diego Padre...who wisely avoided playing in LA the following week.  Out through May at least.  I guess that means Ted Lilly. 

5. Lilly has 2 starts, currently 0-1 with a 5.63 ERA.  Not horrible enough to be sent down but guess who else is injured.  Ted just got a cortisone shot in a rib.

This leaves the Dodgers with 4 healthy starters in the rotation.  Two are good (Billingsley and Ryu).  One is average to bad (Beckett).  One is a minor leaguer who looked all right in his one start (Matt Magill).  That's it.  That's your starting group.  And as much as I'd want to normally cut and adjust the pitching, there aren't enough bodies to do so.  The rest in Albuquerque aren't worth the call. 

In terms of bats, thank goodness Hanley has returned.  He did so hitting a home run Vin labeled "Sky High."  This solves some of the problems.  Luis Cruz, the man who was to be the 3rd baseman this year based on his excellent 2012 campaign, is batting a scant .088.  Bye.

Donny Yankees continues to keep Skip Schumaker around.  He's in the infield, outfield, and pitching.  In sum, it's a .128 average that isn't helping at all except pitching the 9th of a blowout loss because Donny, using his Torre method, has used everyone in the bullpen.  Bye.

Hernandez...mentioned him above, but it's worth saying again.  I'd like to be a back-up catcher who can just watch called strike 3's sail by me.  I can turn and yell at no one in particular and wander back to the dugout.  Bye.

Hitting coach Mark McSteroid hasn't exactly been a good luck charm.  Guys like Ethier and Kemp used to be great hitters.  Now, the team has to count on Gonzalez and Crawford to be the sole providers of runs, as the Dodgers have one of the highest left on base totals in the National League.  How does someone like Matt Kemp become a guy who's "pressing" in at-bats?  I really hope Mark isn't changing what wasn't broken.  Though I suppose if you get a shot in the rump each morning, no matter your swing, it will be a home run.  Right, Bud?

Albuquerque has two guys worth bringing up: catcher Tim Ferdowicz who's batting an insane .514 with 4 home runs.  Sounds good.  A back-up outfielder, Matt Angle, is currently .312...also worth a go.  But whether either guy gets called up, the question remains: why is the front office so passive?  Why do they react instead of act? 


Knowing them, I'm sure Magic, Peter and the gang want to open up the checkbook and get someone else...but if you're truly going to solve the shitstains from McCourt, scouting and talent evaluation has to be improved.  If you don't have any rising stars in the minors worth using, what good is it to sit in your own shit?  A change like that can't occur overnight, but you'd be hard pressed to find it happening 1 month into the season.