(Excuse me, Mr. Lasorda?)

Tommy, I was wondering if I could...Tommy?  Just one question.  I thank you for visiting our restaurant this afternoon.  What did you think of the food?

 

Thank you, sir!  I'll be sure to get you more napkins.

Accepting Adjustments: Tommy Does Minnesota, Day 2

 

Hello again, baseball fans!  I'm writing this late after the second game here in Minnesota.  My wisdom to you today is about the adjustments life brings to you, and having to deal with them.  As you can see in this photo, Dodger Hall of Famer Sandy Koufax joined us in the ballpark for the pregame meal.  That will play into the adjustments I had to deal with today.

I was enjoying a trout dog and beer with Sandy and others I allowed from the ball club to attend this trip, and naturally all talk was on the bankruptcy hearing this afternoon.  I didn't want the headache (or indigestion) so I told the reporters to can it.  So I'm telling these reporters some stories, and nearly all of them look like they want to give me a run for the banquet table.  Then this old guy walks up...looks like he's struggling, but he's ignoring everyone else.  Before I can ask him if he's OK, he shoves a Dictaphone in my face.  I think his name was Sid Hawthorne.  Anyhow, he starts in on how we know each other from way back.  I told him I meet tons of people each day, and I haven't been to Minnesota in a while.  Then he has the fucking nerve to say that if Jim Kaat didn't do this or that in game 7 of the 1965 World Series, the Twins would have won.  First of all, and I say this to you but you already know, do not interrupt my eating.  Secondly, I was a scout then...what does he want from me?  Maybe if Billy Martin managed the Twins, they would have beat the Dodgers!  Maybe if Slim Fast made a pasta sauce, I'd still be svelte. 

Anyhow, it was a tough loss for the Dodgers tonight, but the Twins bullpen looked sharp.  But there was another adjustment.  I was annoyed by that reporter, and upset with the loss, so I was looking forward to some BBQ.  Which should it be?  Rudolph's or Famous Dave's?  Everyone had their opinion.  But, Sandy wanted to go out to eat after the game, too.  Now, it wouldn't be polite to enjoy all those BBQ pork ribs in front of Sandy, even though he says it doesn't bother him.  So, I made an adjustment and we went to Murray's Steak House.  What an excellent choice!  I had the strip sirloin steak, and true to form, I used my butter knife.  They gave me some shit for bringing in one of my award winning wines, but they accommodated Sandy and I all the same.  Sandy had the herb roasted chicken and, well, that's where another adjustment comes in.

I had come up with a good combination: bite of steak, bite of garlic toast, sip of wine.  Just then that Hawthorne guy comes up to our table, saying "I knew I'd find you here.  I told you to go here."  Well, I said "Not only did you not say that to me, this is the second time today you've interrupted my meal."  I'm trying to get the attention of the waiter, but at the same time I knew the steak was starting to get cold.  Then Hawthorne says that he had some long conversation about me to Fay Vincent when I was working with CBS at the 1991 World Series.  So what?  "I told him you should be commissioner."  What a load of shit!  Well, by the time they finally tossed this goof out of there, my steak, while delicious, was cold.  I was torn.  Remember what I've always said: Never Waste Food.  I had a hot fudge sundae while I had the chefs figure out what to do with the rest of the steak.  I have no need to bring it back to the hotel, but I don't want it to be tossed out.  So as we're leaving, I overhear the waiter say that Hawthorne guy wanted to have the rest of it!  The nerve of that jerk!

Gotta get to sleep - day game tomorrow, and then off to Rudolph's! 

An embarassment of riches! - Tommy Does Minnesota, Part 1

(Editor's Note: Baseball legend Tommy Lasorda is in Minneapolis for the Dodgers/Twins series.  We've asked him to write a summary each day on his visit)

Well, I know this might not be the right thing to do as this is a Twins "blog" but I needed a win like that.  The Dodgers needed a win like that, and so did the fans.  Folks, I never expected to hear that the Dodgers would be bankrupt!  Sure, with Frank sleazing around town it might have been inevitable, but in my heart of hearts, I didn't think it would happen.  And I bleed Dodger Blue, as you know.

Ironically, I heard the news as I was touring Target Field.  What a fantastic ballpark!  The fans of Minnesota deserved such a place, and it must feel good knowing that your team isn't on the auction block.  Huh?  Oh, it was?  That's right, it was.  Well, (clears throat) I did my best on a tour of the stadium.  Some highlights included the steak sandwich, which was really wonderful.  The Cuban sandwiches were all right, but remember, I was in Cuba for a while.  Plus, outside of me, who would order that?

The length of the game, I was thinking of where to celebrate the victory.  I needed a pick-me-up.  So, whadda ya say we head to David Fong's?  I actually got kind of screwed up here, because some old scouts were telling me about Howard Wong's, but we can't find out where it is.

How about that, Mr. Lasorda?!  Four hits!  My best game ever!  Great win!










Yeah, thanks...who are you?







Trent Oletjen...I played Right tonight.







Right, yeah!  (nervously looks around)







----------------------------------------------------------

Well folks, I'm back at the hotel to give you more of a recap.  It really was a fantastic night.  I don't want to rub it in, but let me give you a stat rundown of this performance!

1 Fong's House Chicken
1 Shrimp Hong Kong (Lopes liked that one)
1 Beef Chow Mein
1 Combo Lo Mein (reminds me of pasta!)
They even let me bring in my own bottle of wine!

See you tomorrow night!