Turn Dem Hips!

Had the pleasure of watching the Twins lay a beat down on the Yankees last night. Or rather, Jason Kubel's continued domination of Yankee pitching this year. He's hitting .467 with three homers, two doubles, and nine RBI against The Empire so far this season.  Not bad for a fat kid from South Dakota.

Of course the Yanks helped us out last night by putting Javier Vasquez and Chan Ho Park on the mound with their 6.86 and 8.71 ERAs respectively. To be fair, they were lower before Kubel's dingerfest.

I know that winning one of three games isn't going to get it done, but any time the Twins can beat the Yankees I'll take it.  We've got to get over the mental hump of being dominated by them, and avoiding a sweep is one way to start.

Who's Joe West!?

Do you know? I didn't before today. Joe West is an MLB umpire. He's been making some noise this week.  First he ripped the Yankees and the Red Sox for their slow play, calling it "pathetic" and "embarassing." Then, yesterday, he called not one, but two balks on White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle, which resulted in ejections for both manager Ozzie Guillen and Buehrle. I also learned, from the linked article above, that he's a country singer and entertainer? I don't typically agree with anyone in a White Sox uniform, but I have to agree with some of the comments Mr. Buehrle had regarding the incident after the game.

It does seem a bit suspicious for an MLB umpire to be in the news twice in the same week he has released a new album, doesn't it?

189 ERA

He got an out. One. Not bad. 36 pitches per out makes it hard to complete a game as a pitcher. Life is hard. I like how we always have to play the Brewers for interleague play, and KC is forced with someone like St. Louis. Not that KC is good, but you know. I assume the Brewer faithful has taken over Glueks by now. Kind of sad after that long ride on the Megabus. Always tomorrow, though. Yep, keep telling yourself that. Ben Ogilve isn't walking through that door.

7 wins in a row?!

Let's eat! Only thing is, I control the lazy Susan, capice?

Doesn't anyone write about the Twins anymore?

Things are looking up!

(Just as I celebrate my Santa Monica traffic ticket being closed without paying a cent, there's more good news from Tommy Lasorda!)


You bet I look good, and I feel good too! I would use a picture of me from today, but I accidentally spilled some gravy on my shirt. Our magnificent chef here at the stadium, Dave Pearson, made fried chicken for lunch, and he knows I like mine covered in gravy.

Even a stained shirt won't get in my way - the Dodgers are finally back to .500 after sweeping the Diamondbacks in Arizona! It gets pretty boring watching those games. After last night's triumph, Vin called me and said "Well, the sad snakes bumbled around the bases." Poor guy had to stay for the whole game. Myself, once we were in control, I chose to leave the stadium. Unlike Ken Griffey Jr., I didn't go into the locker room for a nap; I took a drive to the area of our magnificent Spring Training site, Cameltoe...er, Camelback Ranch. People tell me that outside of Phoenix, it's hard to find good places to eat. That's a load of horseshit...you just have to do your work.

I had some snacks in the park, but it had been at least 4 hours since I last ate...and I wanted BBQ. I know Arizona isn't known for it's BBQ, but you can't go against your stomach; you'll be up all night wishing you hadn't! A guy in the clubhouse mentioned Town Talk II as a good place for eats, but it was closed when we showed up. Typical knowledge of a Diamondbacks employee. I called up the hotel concierge and they said Bobby Q was where to go, but hurry; they close at 10. Didn't she know that I have closed restaurants all by myself? She will now!

Got in around 9:40, and the gal at the front tells me they're just closing up. Well, I look at my watch and I tell them I know exactly what I want. So, she goes back to the kitchen and returns to tell me they have pretty much shut down everything, but I could have a bowl of chili. Starving, I put it down, which was satisfactory. I figured at this rate, I could eat with the players...but we were returning to LA right after the game. Everywhere was closing - what kind of town IS this?! I didn't know it was too late to eat around here...probably because everyone wakes up at 5 AM to take advantage of the cool weather. Nice hospitality.

After a quick plane ride (the shaved ham roll-ups were fantastic, but didn't get the job done), I came home at 12:30AM. I didn't want to wake my wife, so on the ride home I began to plan what I could do with minimal light. I could make a hero with salami, bologna, add some provolone and peppers, and turn on the fan before we go to sleep. So what do I see when I open the front door? My wife, waking up on the couch. There's a bottle of my award winning wine on the table, and leftover Sicilian sausages in the fridge. What a woman! So lovely and thoughtful. So, you see...despite all of those problems I encountered, things can still turn out all right.

OK, time to go home for the day, but before I leave, do you remember the Tropicana Night Club in Hollywood? Back in the 80s, I had a dare with Ken Landreaux that I'd go in there and dance all night if he hit for the cycle. If he didn't, he had to go to the ladies night show where the...(cough) hold on, that's my car. Have a fantastic day!