Joe Blanton belongs in Albuquerque

Google,

Did you get that subject line?  I sure hope you did, because I know it's on the mind of LA baseball fans.  Just to make sure, I'll say it again.

Joe Blanton belongs in Albuquerque.

In the Dodgers wheelin' and dealin' to help "position the team for the postseason," we received Joe Blanton from the Phillies because (it was guessed) they no longer wanted him.  It wasn't his record that worried me (Nathan Eovaldi, now with Miami, was particularly unlucky in his starts), it was the over 4 ERA. 

Since coming to the Dodgers?  Well, it's in every recap of last night's game, but it doesn't hurt to write it here, too:


GS: 4
W-L: 0-3
ERA: 7.71

Sorry, I thought you were someone who wanted to help the team.  As with last year, the Dodge found minor leaguers to stop the bleeding in the rotation.  They had that this season with Stephen Fife.  Here's his numbers:

GS: 3
W-L: 0-1
ERA: 2.16

Nearly the same sample size, and again: I'm more concerned with the ERA.  Pitchers can only do so much in creating a win.  If the bats aren't there and they lose 1-0, it's not their fault.  But when you can't even last 5 innings without giving up 4+ runs, you need time for seasoning...IN THE MINOR LEAGUES.  And Joe, I want the team to win.  To ensure this, go online and get three tickets (Ronald Belisario and Juan Uribe can sit next to you) and enjoy your time in Isotopeland!  We'll be in touch.

This Win's For You

Hey!  Back at Dodger Stadium, and the Dodgers come back to beat the Cubs.  Let's go to the Dodgers dugout and there's Tommy Lasorda.  Tommy, your guys did it again.

Yes, Harry...after this week I had to right the ship.  We got a lot of new guys here, and I had to set 'em straight.  The Cubs hung around a lot today and played us tough.

Tommy, your sweep of the Cubs keeps you a half game out of first, and it's been- (takes long draw of Budweiser)...

Well, it's not going to be the kind of celebration that you're looking for, I don't think, but we've got a victory meal lined up.  Some of my award winning wines, and a new Italian Sausage Burger that I think you'll enjoy.

That sounds good, but what about that wine of yours?

My award winning wines will be there, you better believe it.    

Hey!  I guess today's victory, the Dodgers won the season series...that means you have a prime rib dinner coming your way!

Next time I'm in town, you better make the call!  Does Jerry Gansini still have that garlic bread at that place?

He sure does and...well, Arne is telling me we gotta wrap it up.  We'll be back with more of the 10th Inning Show on WGN.

Hey Boston, how's your season?

Ours is shit, thanks for asking.  But glad to see you down here.  We all float down here...

Wha Happen?

Guys, you can't put me in this kind of position.  If I'm boasting about your play, you gotta step it up.  You're making me look bad.

Sorry, Tommy...but what can I say?  I'm using all the lessons you taught me back in 1988.  You know, I was reading that I'm yet another successful former Dodger that's managing another team...and not--

ALL RIGHT, I know what you're gonna say.  Look, it wasn't me that picked Donny Yankees.  I've tried to give him insight, but I swear he hears only every 5th thing I tell him.

I knew you guys weren't that good.

Bochy, don't you even fucking start.  We swept your team right inna water.  We could do it again.  Don't worry about Arizona, unless you play them.  I'll worry about MY team.  Or...the team I worry about.

Tommy, I found my notes.  I think Joe said relievers stay in one inning only no matter what.  So, until he tells me otherwise, I'll keep doing that.

Are you outta your fucking mind?  Do you think managing a team is something you do while learning how to eat a sunflower seed?  Hell no!  You can't just SIT THERE AND FUCKING WATCH--

Tommy?  Are you on the phone in there?  That better not be baseball talk.  Remember what we said.

(muttering)  Cristo, io sono circondato da imbecilli.