LaTroy Hawkins never changes. Thank god!

Ah LaTroy...so many years of failure...and so enjoyable.

The "E.Z. Gas" years with the Twins, including the year where his ERA was 6.66...

The Cubs seasons, where he personally made sure they didn't make the playoffs...

His time with the Yankees, which included this gem from 2008 (right before he was released)

LaTroy Hawkins has been suspended three games for throwing an inside, head-high pitch to Baltimore Orioles left fielder Luke Scott

In said game, he did that twice, and missed twice!

The 2010 Brewers season, when he had an ERA of 8+...

It was that season that came to mind late last night, as Hawkins arrived in the 9th to "save" the game for the Mets.  Yes, he still pitches...and there he was in a pressure situation.  My memory tied 2010 with last night to one player: Andre Ethier.

2010
Bottom of the 9th, tie game.  LaTroy loads the bases and faces Andre.

WHOOPS!

(Look at LaTroy's face.  Uh oh.)

2013

Bottom of the 9th, Mets up 2.  Hawkins gives up a single to Mark Ellis, and then Jerry Harriston Jr. hits a comebacker (no pun intended) to LaTroy's junk.  Right to the junk.  LaTroy, of course not wearing a cup, and whose crotch is hurting, stays in the game.

("A stretcher for his balls?!")


Maybe it won't hurt if...hey - is that Andre Ethier?

WHOOPS!

The Dodgers go on to sweep the Mets in 12 innings thanks to Gonzo doing what he does on a daily basis.  By that time, LaTroy was icing down yet another failure.

Chris Capuano pitched and naturally looked over-whelmed.  Brandon League and Carlos Marmol were also involved...and the Dodgers STILL won.  But let there be no discussion: LaTroy was last night's hero.

Punto and DeVito, together again

You know you're on a serious, SERIOUS roll when Nick Punto hits a home run which ends up being the icing on the cake for a win.

You know you're making waves when a solid gold person like Danny DeVito is cheering you on.  He's also wearing your jersey.

But you know Nick Punto is still Nick Punto when the catalog title of Danny's he chooses is...Batman Returns????

No other titles came to mind?

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?

The Van?  (OK, if Punto said "The Van" I'd forgive him of all his sins)

TAXI?!

The Ratings Game?  (If Punto said "The Ratings Game" he'd be my favorite player forever)

Romancing the Stone?  Get Shorty?  Hell, he's been on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia longer than Taxi.

Punto, it appears, even surrounded by and delivering success, is still Punto.

Clearing the Table

(Toward the end of dinner, baseball legend and famous eater Tommy Lasorda began to discuss the Dodgers recent good fortune, including sweeping Tampa Bay)

The guy was playing the piano, but the singer was always standing by him, she didn't work the room.  Turns out, the guy on the piano had the singer feed him ravioli as he played.  Never seen that before.  First time I was in Palm Springs, too.

Sure, I'm ready for desert.  What do we have?  Uh huh.  OK...sure, might as well bring it all out.  You know, we were at Trattoria Marcella in St. Louis and I told all those windbag writers that this week was the measuring stick.  Remember how I told you that you can tell a lot about a restaurant by smelling the garlic bread?  Well, the same with this past week.  4 at St. Louis, seems like they'll be in the playoffs...and 3 at home against Tampa Bay.  They were in first.  But 6-1?  Sweeping the Rays?  I'll tell you where we measure on the breadstick - right at the top!

When I was at the game Friday night, and we're down 6 to nothing, I did what I could to get the team on track.  I gave some base-running signals to Wallach, and I told our chef Dave Pearson to get me my lucky fork.  I don't use this very often, but this was a big series!  So he gets it out, cleans the dried tomato off the handle, and has an open-face prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella sandwich delivered to my seat.  I tell ya - this was the first time in the game I was nervous.  I'd never brought the fork outside the dining room.  Then, as I'm eating, Magic Johnson sees it and he's all smiles.  "Wow, Tommy!  That looks delicious!  Are you finished?  I'd love to eat the rest if you're done.  You know, one time Pat Riley--"  I told him to can it.  I'm eating, and more importantly, I'm eating to help the team!  You all saw what happened.  I finished that sandwich in the blink of an eye.  And we won, too.

Then, on Sunday (belch) whoop.  Whew...that one...OK, Dave, that desert coming?  Yeah, let's start with the molasses cookies.  MMMM...no, I don't need milk, but you can open another of my award winning wines.  Goes good with everything, especially winning!  Ah, butter pecan ice cream!  Wonderful...do you have whipped cream for those strawberries?  I thought so.

Afternoon snooze

(We attempted to ask baseball legend Tommy Lasorda his thoughts on the Dodgers' incredible road winning streak, but...)

Mr. Lasorda?  We just wanted to...Tommy, I...is he...

Does anyone know if he's OK?  What?  Oh, he ate a whole deep dish pizza last night?  That would make anyone sleepy.  I don't know if I should...yeah, can you get that RC vendor down here?  He might need some...oh, I think he's waking up.

Tommy?  4 game sweep of...OK, I'll wake him after the game for the drive down to St. Louis, but I know he'll want to stop at a pizza place in Springfield, but...yeah, I guess just let him sleep.

Come on, Royals! : A photo essay

Yes, most of the reporting around here is on the Dodgers, but acknowledgement must be made: the Royals, as I type, are the hottest team in baseball.  Who cares?  Well, you should.  For all the pain Pirates fans endure because they haven't had a winning season in 20 years, the Royals (last winning season was 10 years ago and, before that, another 10 years) last made the playoffs the year they won the World Series: 1985.  Almost 30 years without a playoff appearance.  This is why it's impossible not to think good thoughts for these guys.  (Note I don't say "root" because it doesn't sound like being a fan of theirs is good for your health)

This photo comes from the Royals' home page, with a curious bit of wording.  Yeah, we know they're in the major leagues.  So why mention it?  Do they need to remind everyone?  Not a very inspiring internal memo.

Ervin Santana - wonder where he went?  He's in Kansas City, and the ship has turned around.  7-6 with a 3 ERA...can you really consider someone's record when they're with the Royals?  

Their catcher, batting .280 is Salvador Perez.  Salvador.  Got a hit in the All-Star game.  Get 'em, Salvador.

Lorenzo Cain (my goodness, the names on this team) made this catch in Minnesota.  The Royals ultimately scored much more than the Twins for this to be a game saving catch, but still: the ice cream scoop catch to rob a home run.  I'd also like to note that this blog just mentioned the Twins.  For yearly consistency sake.

Could we see it?  Royals in the playoffs?  Sports Illustrated making an RC Cola reference once more?  Come on, Royals!