HOME RUN HOME RUN

It's Blackburn vs. something named Radhames Liz, who hails from El Seybo, Dominican Republic. He's 5-5 with an ERA of 7.75.

So, ok then.

Nick Punto in the lineup again today, for no discernable reason. Does he smell really bad, and so Gardy puts him in to keep him off the bench? Did Tolbert not hit 2 triples last night? Whatever.

Good sections still available in Baltimore.

According to My29, Liz is "Another Baltimore pitcher with control problems". This should be fun.

Baltimore sports the same camera angle as the Metrodome, meaning it's set up nearly directly over the mound. It gives the viewer the ability to accurately judge balls and strikes, so you can see why MLB would be opposed to it.

Already there have been two balls clearly outside that have been called strikes. Span and Casilla don't say anything, because it's not really going to matter.

There's this "thank you" commercial from the Twins players to the fans. Even when they're reading prompter for 2 second clips, it's still hard to believe that guys like Punto and Mauer can drive motor vehicles.

Remember when Nick Markakis hit three home runs in a game against the Twins a few years ago?

Fucking hell.

Keith Atherton is apparently in attendance for today's game. If you aggregate out the growth of his mustache to his living in the Baltimore area for 20 years, you come up with what can only be described as "Complete Life Success".

Kubel strikes out, it's really hot out there, and it just doesn't seem like it's working today.

Delmon Young takes a pitch and- HA HA HA, JUST KIDDING. He swings at the first thing he sees and bounces to short.

In other action, the Yankees currently lead the Rays 6-3, but Carl Pavano is going against Edwin Jackson, which means that score will grow exponentially in the next hour.

Nick Blackburn pitches to Luke Scott, and he goes 0-2 on him pretty quickly. Then Blackburn begins picking at the corners, runs the count full, and Luke Scott fouls the next two pitches off. It's at this point that you can visibly see Nick Blackburn say "Fuck this, it's too hot" and throw it right down the middle of the plate. The Man With Two First Names lines a single to right.

Son of a bitch. Another O's jack. This is getting stupid.

Rick Anderson out to talk to Nick Blackburn. "You've given up 4 runs and you've gotten 3 outs. Try harder."

I mean, you can't win every game, but it's the Orioles. They don't even want to play baseball anymore. Their pitching doesn't understand the concept of balls and strikes. JUAN CASTRO STARTS. This is just stupid.

Andy MacPhail - "The way we can turn our team around is to start playing like the Twins." Ah, I see. Winning games, that will get you turned around.

Liz doesn't have control problems. The Twins hitters have "dumbness" problems. Casilla bunts the ball right back to Liz, and it's the easiest play a human can make.

Two more home runs, and I'm ready to turn this shit off. 4 jacks on the day. If Juan Castro hits one out, I'm going to be minus one TV at the end of the day.

Good night, sweet prince.