Rant Time

The lights go off, we settle down into that dark abyss, and the world refuses to tilt yet again.

Same as it ever was. Goodbye Babylon.

This shit hurts. Fuck almighty, it hurts. Last year I pissed in my pants and openly proclaimed that I didn't care if they lost each game by 40, because just getting there was such a thrill. When Cabrera hit that bomb, I seriously peed a little bit in my pants.

I fucking watch these guys every single day during the summer. I wake up in the morning, and I check every newspaper, blog and sports site for info. I watch the highlights that I couldn't see (I usually listen on the radio). I know more about the Minnesota Twins than anyone who reads this blog. Sorry, but Asshole is coming out tonight. I fucking give everything. I post a fucking blog hosted by Tom Fucking Kelly talkin' Dog Track, and I google "Kent Hrbek Beaver Shirt" to find what I'm looking for.

And I love Ron Gardenhire. He knows exactly how to run this organization, and his methods trickle down throughout the minors and everywhere.

But none of it matters anymore. NONE OF IT MATTERS. Because if you get to the playoffs every year, and you haven't won a fucking GAME in 6 years, and you haven't won A FUCKING HOME GAME SINCE TWO THOUSAND TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then none of it matters. We're not talking small sample size. We're talking BIG PIECES OF FECES IN YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU PLAY IN THE PLAYOFFS.

Look, if you accept the notion that the players adopt their manager's tendencies and reflect his personality to some degree, then you HAVE to look at these playoff records as an utter and complete failure. There's no other way. Gardy sits like a fucking buffoon and doesn't do the right things in the playoffs.

IT'S SIMPLE. THE YANKEES KNOW HOW TO PLAY LOOSE AND DO WHAT IS NEEDED TO WIN ONE GAME, JUST ONE, AND TAKE EACH GAME AS IT COMES. The Twins have no idea how to do this. They get ahead, and they get excited and piss down their legs. When they get behind, the press WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too hard and strike out. It's like watching the most pre-determined sporting contest EVER.

I don't give a fuck about this, and fuck it all.

We're the White Sox, except we get to play 3 more games per year. When we beat the White Sox, as we do EVERY SINGLE YEAR, they say "Yeah, well, the Twins will just go to the playoffs and get swept." And then it comes to pass. So great. I'm glad we gave all that effort. Might as well bring in Colon and get it done with.

2002 was pure joy. They didn't go all the way, but DAMN did I love Dougie and Kockie.
2003, we tugged on Superman's cape in game 1. But, inevitably, they won. They were better.
2004 was an absolute repeat, and it hurt. Because we were expecting it.
2006 was the best 2nd half, ever, only to get to the playoffs and just FUCKING DOG SHIT. Lose two straight in the dome and just cry.
2009? Who gives a fuck? Just getting there was great. Matt Tolbert started at 3rd base. Brian Dunce started game 1 in Yankee stadium. Who cares? Playoffs were pure candy.
2010 is the ultimate kick in the sack. We enter Cleveland territory. We enter Buffalo Bills territory.

We enter....

We fucking......

VIKINGS TERRITORY.