Making a Good Thing Better

(Dodger legend and fill-in manager Tommy Lasorda spoke with reporters after yesterday's win over Colorado)

I tell ya something, this new ownership group is great!  And, as you've noticed, we haven't missed a beat: we swept the Rockies, continuing our trend at the top of the National League.  A lot of you guys are gonna ask me questions about Matt Kemp; if he's injured.  But you saw who was in charge - you leave that to me.

One nice thing I've noticed since the group has taken over was if one of these guys doesn't like my idea, I just go to another one and ask.  When I was growing up, I'd do the same thing.  Dad says no?  Then I ask my Ma, and she says "All right, son, you can enter the spumoni eating contest."  It was that easy...and it's just as easy now!  Last week I was talking to one of our co-owners, legendary movie producer Peter Guber.  He's asking me all these questions and then follows it up with "I just think outside the box."  Peter, I said, when you say that shit to me, I'm thinking batter's box, capice?  So he follows that up with "Well, think very hard - what's the one thing with the Dodgers that you don't have that you'd like back."  Now THAT was a tough question.  I thought about players, dinners, the stadium, food, and meals, when I came up with something: Cool-A-Coo Ice Cream Bars!  When Fox bought the team, out they went.  Whatever happened to those?

Well, Guber wanted to impress me, so he found the guy who makes em, and we're bringing em back!  That's the way to win back fans.  But I wasn't ready for what happened next...

As you saw in yesterday's game, the moron fucking home plate umpire ejects Andre Ethier, and doesn't even have the cajones to tell him to his face that he's outta there.  That kind of shit pisses me off!  Donny went out there, and while he doesn't get that worked up, he gets tossed, too.  You know what I say to that?  GOOD!  Tell that dipshit where to go!  But then, right as I was about to order another salmon wrap, the phone rings.  It's Guber.

"Tommy, Donny just got ejected.  How soon can you get on your uniform?"

Now you readers know I'm retired.  But, I do bleed Dodger Blue, and last year I managed the team on my birthday.  If the owner wants you out there, you do what you have to do.  Took me a while to find everything, so I didn't make it down until the bottom of the 8th.  But we did it!  Hey Lopes - fill up this cup with victory wine!  Yeah...Wallach, if that fucking up is in the hallway, you let me know.

Sweet Lou wears Sasson

Movin' in, move 'em out

Things may seem like a fucking non-stop party out here for us Dodger fans.  Slimeball McSleeeze no longer owns the team AND we (haha, right, "we") have the best record in baseball.  So, no changes?

(Before I begin, I just want to summarize McSleeze's ownership to the following point: money from international scouting was nearly drained while McSleeze "bought" another house in Malibu that was for "laundry only")

All I can say is that the following players will be lucky each hallway has stacks of moving boxes because said players should be doing the packing up themselves...to ol NM.

Donny Mustache has a relatively solid infield right now.  (This helps as "managing" still seems to give him trouble)  Dee Gordon is a bit suspect because the whole "don't have to swing at every pitch" thing has yet to enter his gourd.  Second to that would be "don't have to try to steal a base every pitch" but I get the feeling it makes Davey Lopes laugh.  Swing man is Jerry Hairston...which is fine, because he's currently succeeding.

So, if this is the case, would you two gentlemen see Mr. Lasorda in his office?

Justin Sellers


(Photo taken at youth birthday party held at Dodger Stadium)

Justin has seen some mid-game action at short when Donny does a double switch and an occasional start.  Donny praises him as "tough as can be" but so is Justin's ability to get a hit.  Justin hit over .300 in ALB last year...let him get some seasoning there and then if you insist, give this 3 for 17 guy a try.

Adam Kennedy


(Cheeeeeeese)

Adam must have compromising photos of someone in the front office.  Guy is 2 for 21.  Might want to look into a career in insurance.  Or auto sales.  Maybe a bank teller...you're a social guy, we'll give you new accounts.

Honestly...that ain't bad if the rest is worth sorting out.  The bullpen...well...let's just say Mr Guerra just kept his job last night as a 7-2 lead when Lilly left the game turned to 7-6 thanks to this "relief."  I was prepping a failure blog post when Javy held the fail at bay.

I've written on this blog about the Dodge's favorable schedule, but they did just sweep the 1st place Nats over the weekend.  Yet look what happens when they lose (keep in mind, as of this writing they are 17-7):

Loss at Milwaukee April 17th

OBP-482 April 18, 2012 12:09 amDodgers finally played a real baseball team, with predictable results.

Loss vs. Atlanta April 24th

Willie Dog April 25, 2012 1:51 amYou have to play teams other than san diego , pittsburg and houston . The Dodgers record will adjust to the competition and become a 3rd place team in the west soon after .

Loss at Colorado April 30th

West Coast Guy May 1, 2012 6:20 amFunny how the Dodgers don't do so well when they don't face a steady diet of the AAA Padres on their schedule!

Those are some very salty BIGG DOGGZ SPORTS ZONE FANZ that don't like it when the Dodgers win.  Well, all I can do is apologize to those 3 enterprising CBS comment kings and remind them (in-between their re-heating of the Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls) that this month has brought us a new era...new owners, new deals, and less sleeeeeeese.