(Dodger legend and fill-in manager Tommy Lasorda spoke with reporters after yesterday's win over Colorado)
I tell ya something, this new ownership group is great! And, as you've noticed, we haven't missed a beat: we swept the Rockies, continuing our trend at the top of the National League. A lot of you guys are gonna ask me questions about Matt Kemp; if he's injured. But you saw who was in charge - you leave that to me.
One nice thing I've noticed since the group has taken over was if one of these guys doesn't like my idea, I just go to another one and ask. When I was growing up, I'd do the same thing. Dad says no? Then I ask my Ma, and she says "All right, son, you can enter the spumoni eating contest." It was that easy...and it's just as easy now! Last week I was talking to one of our co-owners, legendary movie producer Peter Guber. He's asking me all these questions and then follows it up with "I just think outside the box." Peter, I said, when you say that shit to me, I'm thinking batter's box, capice? So he follows that up with "Well, think very hard - what's the one thing with the Dodgers that you don't have that you'd like back." Now THAT was a tough question. I thought about players, dinners, the stadium, food, and meals, when I came up with something: Cool-A-Coo Ice Cream Bars! When Fox bought the team, out they went. Whatever happened to those?
Well, Guber wanted to impress me, so he found the guy who makes em, and we're bringing em back! That's the way to win back fans. But I wasn't ready for what happened next...
As you saw in yesterday's game, the moron fucking home plate umpire ejects Andre Ethier, and doesn't even have the cajones to tell him to his face that he's outta there. That kind of shit pisses me off! Donny went out there, and while he doesn't get that worked up, he gets tossed, too. You know what I say to that? GOOD! Tell that dipshit where to go! But then, right as I was about to order another salmon wrap, the phone rings. It's Guber.
"Tommy, Donny just got ejected. How soon can you get on your uniform?"
Now you readers know I'm retired. But, I do bleed Dodger Blue, and last year I managed the team on my birthday. If the owner wants you out there, you do what you have to do. Took me a while to find everything, so I didn't make it down until the bottom of the 8th. But we did it! Hey Lopes - fill up this cup with victory wine! Yeah...Wallach, if that fucking up is in the hallway, you let me know.
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