Hello baseball fans! I want to show you something.
That's me, back at the ballpark. After the Giants series, I told my Doc that it had been almost a year since the recent heart-attack, and the team needed my leadership. So, I stopped doing exercises and eating right, and returned to the new and improved Dodger Stadium! I've been gone so long and spent so much time trying to eat that trail mix, I bet half these guys didn't recognize me. Some of 'em are new, so I had a lot of conversations with these new guys, reminding them they always have a seat at my private dining booth in the locker room. Except Uribe - he's ready to challenge me to a rib eating contest, but not when he's with the club! I've told that guy 3 fucking times now, and he keeps saying "Tommeee! Reeebs!"
See, even just writing about it gets me hungry. Let me get the baseball stuff out of the way first and foremost. A year ago, a lot of windbag writers were giving us shit because we had an "easy schedule" to start the season. Look, I'M not the one who sends Pittsburgh to us so early in the season...but I'm glad for their generosity! The Dodger pitching has been phenomenal, and we swept the Pirates as we do in these parts. Even Donny Mustache is getting his shit together. He accidentally put Matt Grrrrr in the game, and after 2 batters, realized his mistake. Out went Matt, and in went someone who knew how to pitch.
Saturday Night's 1-0 win was another masterful performance by Kershaw, but god-awful hitting. Why the fuck did Magic get all star-struck and hire McGwire as hitting coach? As I told people then and now: take the roids out of that guy and what do you have? Don Mattingly. Uh oh.
Anyway, once I saw the Dodgers were coming to bat, I did my best to sample the new food items at the ballpark. I know a lot of fans want to get comfortable at the stadium, but without much knowledge of the food, feel lost and confused. Well, here's my take on our new friends:
Brooklyn Dodger Dog - Good, improved toppings to a Dodger Dog, but not spicy enough as I anticipated. Don't evoke Brooklyn and give me a regular dog!
Big Blue Burger - Delicious! Seems wrong to have a burger at a baseball game, but you won't make a mistake choosing this delight. Go easy on the onions. Kind of gassy.
Cheeseburger - We all but kicked out Carl's Jr. and their confused workers for this, and it's quite good. A little small for my appetite, though.
Grilled Cheese - Peter Guber added this for the non-meat eating fan. I honestly had no idea this was at the stadium. Someone brought it on a plate, I ate it, end of story. The REAL story is that after Guber told me about it, I asked him why don't we have Sicilian style Garlic Bread? He said "I'll get back to you." He'd better, or my back will get to him if you grasp the concept.
Carne Asada Tacos - Had these with Fernando on Sunday. We liked em...3 don't fill you up, so plan accordingly. Had a Pretzel right afterward that didn't sit well. Don't think that's a good combination.
And, in case my Doc is reading this...well, we have a day off and I just arrived in San Diego. Going to go for a walk around the waterfront. Get a little air and give some more, I always say. Here come the Dodgers!
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