Just so we're clear for the future...

Donny Yankees had our playoff rotation starting all garbage games in the final series of the season.  Just something for the memory banks for this time next week.

After all the ups and downs...

...the Dodgers win the division!  Let's go into the locker room to see the celebration and--

"I tell ya - this fu-- whoop...this team started out so shi--  uh...so bad, it took a lot of work.  I had a lot of conversations with em all, you know.  Had to drive some guys to New Mexico, but we got hot...Big D, we're the best of the West!"

That's fantastic, Tommy.  I know you're excited.  Any--

"Caravan is heading west.  We're gonna be in San Diego, party tonight at Salvatore's Cucina, got the pope table, and my wines will be there.  I love it!  Yankees, go get me a drink!"

You're talking to Dodgers mana-

"And another thing!  If you don't like the fact that we jumped in the Diamondbacks' pool...tough nuts!"  

"All right, boys, get together for a picture!"

One More Question...

"Yeah, you know, this team is still going in the right direction.  We just played a good team.  Could one of you guys put ice in this cup?  I still haven't figured out how to do that yet.  Anyway, any more questions?"

"Yeah, numbnuts, I got one.  How did your fucking 'rest strategy' work out this week?  Would you say your plan was a good one?"

"Tommy, is that you?  Hey, I didn't know you were here.  Look, everyone, it's--"

"Don't look at me, let's look up to the front at Donny Yankees!  Get a good look at the guy who's managing the ball club.  He said all of our best players needed extra rest for this series.  And after he practically threw the game in Denver, he--"

"Tommy, we try to win every game."

"YOU fucking don't.  I'm talking here, dunce.  So then you start this fucking plan...we go into Cincy, a hot town.  And I would know, I ate a gallon of this shit you call 'chili' and never got full.  How did that work?  You were lucky just to get two guys to hit the fucking ball each game!  All this rest, and no run production!"

"Well, the Reds have great pitching and...you know, I'm happy the way we played.  We battled.  Um...(looks at notes) we have pitching and I'm, uh..."

"Don't fucking look at me."

The Give Up Game

The Dodgers are comfortably in first place, playing Colorado.  They have a day off before a big series in Cincinnati.  You would think, thankfully, that most of the regulars would play since we have a day off, particularly against Colorado's best pitcher.

But then you remember our manager is woefully confused.  Endorsing Ned's bizarro pick-up, Edinson Volquez (who maybe shouldn't be playing anymore) gets the start instead of Fife...and with Puig still day to day with injury, Donny also rests TWO starting outfielders, along with the 1st AND 2nd baseman.  After Volquez gets shelled (of course he does), he sends in Brandon League.  OK, this is just a give-up game.  Brandon (naturally) throws two wild pitches but somehow doesn't give up a run.  Donny continues the give-up with Marmol.  Why even try, right?

But then the top of the 8th, the Dodgers get hot and cut the Rockies lead to 2.  Now what does Donny do?  Start sending in the guys he benched AND then follow that up with the guys from the bullpen who were to get rest as well.

The managing in this game simply baffled me.  Was it a give-up?  If so, why decide to try just because it's close?  I wanted to call Dodger Talk and ask Kevin Kennedy, someone who's managed big-league ball, if he's ever seen anything like this.  I understand guys needing rest due to the riggers of a 162-game schedule, but this is re-dic.  Another caller beat me to asking the question.  His response was that he "understood" benching all these guys because they'd all play in Cincy.  OK, we disagree...whatever.  Then, he states he was "confused" by sending Rodriguez in the 8th.  So we DO agree...you just want to tote the company line, I guess.

Donny's press conference seemed unusually upbeat, stating that Volquez "showed him a lot" and that he and Rick Honeycutt know how to "fix" his problems.  Don't worry, Donny assured everyone, the usual folks will return in Cincinnati, he's just playing the strangest shell game with the starting rotation.  Why not have 7 guys?!  There's no rule about that, and Joe Torre never said he couldn't do that.  And here we are.

Let there be no question: it is the ability of the Dodgers individual players that lead to this success.  And, I'm willing to wager large amounts of any sort of valuable item that some mouth-breating writer somewhere else (not LA) thinks Donny is doing great things.  He really "turned them around" after he "drove them into the fucking ground" - wait...the start wasn't his fault at all...

Shit, we're in first, I need to cheer up.  Ah, here's a picture of Tommy and Ice Cube.

We're Like a Machine

(With one month to go, former Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda reviewed the team's status)

Isn't this a fun picture?  This is R2D2 from Star Wars.  He's a robot, and he does things automatically.  In the future this movie says giant monsters will fly rocket ships.  That's almost as unbelievable as our August record!  23-6, and just like this robot, we seem to win automatically!  You might not think sweeping the Padres at home would be that difficult, but you try to do something boring for a whole weekend and come out on top!

There were moments we were down and whatever, but I knew we had it in the bag.  So, the team had me walk around with this robot and it's making all sorts of beeping sounds...making people laugh.  I say "What is this shit, D2?  Do you talk?"  It let out a long, low noise which made everyone laugh again.  I told em when I make a long, low noise, people just run for cover!

All right, 1 month to go, let's do a rundown:

• We added Michael Young to play 3rd.  Thank god...and notice how Uribe got hot after the trade.  Juan just needs way too much motivation.  Did you know one game last season I covered his chair in BBQ sauce?  He ended up trying to eat it.  Fucking...(belch) oh boy.  
• Just to prove that Ned still doesn't know his mustache from dog dung, he signs Edinson Volquez as a 6th starter.  With Cap finally pitching better (only took him 4 fucking months) we now know the weak link in our rotation.  It's September, an expanded roster, and we bring back Fife.  Then we get this junk?!  Boggles the mind.  Hey, if I found $10 on the carpet, would I go back to the store for more vegetables?  Of course not.
• Puig is day to day...so you move Ethier back to right, Schumaker (I guess) in center, Crawford in left.  Season to taste.
• I like the infield of Gonzo at first, Ellis at 2nd, Han Ram at short, and Young at 3rd.  Now watch Donny Mustache fuck it up.
• A.J. Ellis is a rock at catcher.  The back-ups now include Drew Butera.  You read that right.  What, the kid who played Engleberg in The Bad News Bears wasn't free?

Boy...getting hot outside.  Dave, you got that pitcher of Sangria ready?