Isn't this a fun picture? This is R2D2 from Star Wars. He's a robot, and he does things automatically. In the future this movie says giant monsters will fly rocket ships. That's almost as unbelievable as our August record! 23-6, and just like this robot, we seem to win automatically! You might not think sweeping the Padres at home would be that difficult, but you try to do something boring for a whole weekend and come out on top!
There were moments we were down and whatever, but I knew we had it in the bag. So, the team had me walk around with this robot and it's making all sorts of beeping sounds...making people laugh. I say "What is this shit, D2? Do you talk?" It let out a long, low noise which made everyone laugh again. I told em when I make a long, low noise, people just run for cover!
All right, 1 month to go, let's do a rundown:
- We added Michael Young to play 3rd. Thank god...and notice how Uribe got hot after the trade. Juan just needs way too much motivation. Did you know one game last season I covered his chair in BBQ sauce? He ended up trying to eat it. Fucking...(belch) oh boy.
- Just to prove that Ned still doesn't know his mustache from dog dung, he signs Edinson Volquez as a 6th starter. With Cap finally pitching better (only took him 4 fucking months) we now know the weak link in our rotation. It's September, an expanded roster, and we bring back Fife. Then we get this junk?! Boggles the mind. Hey, if I found $10 on the carpet, would I go back to the store for more vegetables? Of course not.
- Puig is day to day...so you move Ethier back to right, Schumaker (I guess) in center, Crawford in left. Season to taste.
- I like the infield of Gonzo at first, Ellis at 2nd, Han Ram at short, and Young at 3rd. Now watch Donny Mustache fuck it up.
- A.J. Ellis is a rock at catcher. The back-ups now include Drew Butera. You read that right. What, the kid who played Engleberg in The Bad News Bears wasn't free?
Boy...getting hot outside. Dave, you got that pitcher of Sangria ready?
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