Well, it is a weekday day game . . . in Chicago, I am sure some former baseball manager from the Windy City has a view of who attends these games. With Fred Garcia pitching, this could be a quick liveblog.
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Water is falling from the sky. Oh, the Tigers are thrilled right now, I'm sure. That sums up the first hour.
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Well, due to my job and I took the bus today, we pick it up in the bottom of 6th. Looks like Fred the Pitcher pulled a neck muscle. Oh good, the Detroit bullpen. Galaraga. Two straight wild pitches will get that run home from 2nd base. Annnnnnnd time for the next guy out of the bullpen. Seay is his name an he just threw one to the backstop. Dye on second. This thing is over. Thome struck out due to oldness. Intentionally walking Konerko to get to GRIFFEY. Ouch. Detroit catcher cannot handle breaking balls or something. 4 pitch walk to Griffey. Bases juiced. Leyland out . . . NEXT! Glover. Lil' Ramirez up, first pitch, 4 base 4 run hit. I'm done.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
We at least know what we need to do.
At the beginning of the season, if you had told me on Sept. 23rd of the season, the Twins control their own destiny to the playoffs, I would have taken that. Now, unfortunately, we have witnessed what has happened in reality land in the month of September. Still, hey, I'll take it. The White Sox are beatable, KC is mostly trash. We know what the Twins will do. Win the first 2 games by a combined score of 20-2 or something stupid. Then piss it down their leg 8-1 in the series last game.
At least the ride was fun for a team not supposed to do much and Detroit winning the AL Central. Remember that?
UPDATE on the label: Not Rochester, AA, that is 2 'A's, not 3.
At least the ride was fun for a team not supposed to do much and Detroit winning the AL Central. Remember that?
UPDATE on the label: Not Rochester, AA, that is 2 'A's, not 3.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Nick Blackburn
Ok, so it's fairly obvious at this point that the Twins pitchers are COMPLETELY OUT OF GAS AND CAN'T GET ANYONE OUT ANYMORE.
Just start all guys from Rochester. At least they aren't battling dead arm.
Christ, Blackburn's given up 7 runs in 2.1 innings in his last two starts. Pathetic.
Just start all guys from Rochester. At least they aren't battling dead arm.
Christ, Blackburn's given up 7 runs in 2.1 innings in his last two starts. Pathetic.
Did that happen last night?
Did Gardy NOT pinch hit for Alexi, down 2, in the 9th, with a runner on? Did Mr. Casilla jack a home run? Did Gardy pinch hit FOR Kubel with ADAM EVERETT and then Everett decides to FAKE BUNT and jack one over left fielder's head. Did I see that correctly last night?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Wishlist
I wish there was "live betting" for Twins games. Only because I'd like to see the price on the Twins winning a game actually GO UP when they get a lead. And I would take those odds.
"Oh, what's this, the Twins have a 2 run lead? I will bet my life on the Indians."
And out of the bullpen, they're going to go with Jesse Crain...
"Win."
"Oh, what's this, the Twins have a 2 run lead? I will bet my life on the Indians."
And out of the bullpen, they're going to go with Jesse Crain...
"Win."
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
"Eddie Guardado" is to "Garbage" as...
"Shit" is to "Brown"
The Sox are going to clinch this thing in the Dome.
The Sox are going to clinch this thing in the Dome.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Why don't you just name it "Dumb Field"?
Or how about, "Pop ups in the infield Field"? Someone else have the naming rights to "Not able to bring in a runner from second base when the game is on the line Field"?
Sunday, September 14, 2008
HOME RUN HOME RUN
It's Blackburn vs. something named Radhames Liz, who hails from El Seybo, Dominican Republic. He's 5-5 with an ERA of 7.75.
So, ok then.
Nick Punto in the lineup again today, for no discernable reason. Does he smell really bad, and so Gardy puts him in to keep him off the bench? Did Tolbert not hit 2 triples last night? Whatever.
Good sections still available in Baltimore.
According to My29, Liz is "Another Baltimore pitcher with control problems". This should be fun.
Baltimore sports the same camera angle as the Metrodome, meaning it's set up nearly directly over the mound. It gives the viewer the ability to accurately judge balls and strikes, so you can see why MLB would be opposed to it.
Already there have been two balls clearly outside that have been called strikes. Span and Casilla don't say anything, because it's not really going to matter.
There's this "thank you" commercial from the Twins players to the fans. Even when they're reading prompter for 2 second clips, it's still hard to believe that guys like Punto and Mauer can drive motor vehicles.
Remember when Nick Markakis hit three home runs in a game against the Twins a few years ago?
Fucking hell.
Keith Atherton is apparently in attendance for today's game. If you aggregate out the growth of his mustache to his living in the Baltimore area for 20 years, you come up with what can only be described as "Complete Life Success".
Kubel strikes out, it's really hot out there, and it just doesn't seem like it's working today.
Delmon Young takes a pitch and- HA HA HA, JUST KIDDING. He swings at the first thing he sees and bounces to short.
In other action, the Yankees currently lead the Rays 6-3, but Carl Pavano is going against Edwin Jackson, which means that score will grow exponentially in the next hour.
Nick Blackburn pitches to Luke Scott, and he goes 0-2 on him pretty quickly. Then Blackburn begins picking at the corners, runs the count full, and Luke Scott fouls the next two pitches off. It's at this point that you can visibly see Nick Blackburn say "Fuck this, it's too hot" and throw it right down the middle of the plate. The Man With Two First Names lines a single to right.
Son of a bitch. Another O's jack. This is getting stupid.
Rick Anderson out to talk to Nick Blackburn. "You've given up 4 runs and you've gotten 3 outs. Try harder."
I mean, you can't win every game, but it's the Orioles. They don't even want to play baseball anymore. Their pitching doesn't understand the concept of balls and strikes. JUAN CASTRO STARTS. This is just stupid.
Andy MacPhail - "The way we can turn our team around is to start playing like the Twins." Ah, I see. Winning games, that will get you turned around.
Liz doesn't have control problems. The Twins hitters have "dumbness" problems. Casilla bunts the ball right back to Liz, and it's the easiest play a human can make.
Two more home runs, and I'm ready to turn this shit off. 4 jacks on the day. If Juan Castro hits one out, I'm going to be minus one TV at the end of the day.
Good night, sweet prince.
So, ok then.
Nick Punto in the lineup again today, for no discernable reason. Does he smell really bad, and so Gardy puts him in to keep him off the bench? Did Tolbert not hit 2 triples last night? Whatever.
Good sections still available in Baltimore.
According to My29, Liz is "Another Baltimore pitcher with control problems". This should be fun.
Baltimore sports the same camera angle as the Metrodome, meaning it's set up nearly directly over the mound. It gives the viewer the ability to accurately judge balls and strikes, so you can see why MLB would be opposed to it.
Already there have been two balls clearly outside that have been called strikes. Span and Casilla don't say anything, because it's not really going to matter.
There's this "thank you" commercial from the Twins players to the fans. Even when they're reading prompter for 2 second clips, it's still hard to believe that guys like Punto and Mauer can drive motor vehicles.
Remember when Nick Markakis hit three home runs in a game against the Twins a few years ago?
Fucking hell.
Keith Atherton is apparently in attendance for today's game. If you aggregate out the growth of his mustache to his living in the Baltimore area for 20 years, you come up with what can only be described as "Complete Life Success".
Kubel strikes out, it's really hot out there, and it just doesn't seem like it's working today.
Delmon Young takes a pitch and- HA HA HA, JUST KIDDING. He swings at the first thing he sees and bounces to short.
In other action, the Yankees currently lead the Rays 6-3, but Carl Pavano is going against Edwin Jackson, which means that score will grow exponentially in the next hour.
Nick Blackburn pitches to Luke Scott, and he goes 0-2 on him pretty quickly. Then Blackburn begins picking at the corners, runs the count full, and Luke Scott fouls the next two pitches off. It's at this point that you can visibly see Nick Blackburn say "Fuck this, it's too hot" and throw it right down the middle of the plate. The Man With Two First Names lines a single to right.
Son of a bitch. Another O's jack. This is getting stupid.
Rick Anderson out to talk to Nick Blackburn. "You've given up 4 runs and you've gotten 3 outs. Try harder."
I mean, you can't win every game, but it's the Orioles. They don't even want to play baseball anymore. Their pitching doesn't understand the concept of balls and strikes. JUAN CASTRO STARTS. This is just stupid.
Andy MacPhail - "The way we can turn our team around is to start playing like the Twins." Ah, I see. Winning games, that will get you turned around.
Liz doesn't have control problems. The Twins hitters have "dumbness" problems. Casilla bunts the ball right back to Liz, and it's the easiest play a human can make.
Two more home runs, and I'm ready to turn this shit off. 4 jacks on the day. If Juan Castro hits one out, I'm going to be minus one TV at the end of the day.
Good night, sweet prince.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
A Request
Please stop bringing in left-handed pitchers to pitch to Curtis Granderson.
In fact, please stop bringing in left-handed pitchers.
In fact, please stop "bringing in" pitchers.
In fact, please stop bringing in left-handed pitchers.
In fact, please stop "bringing in" pitchers.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
A more recent conversation . . .
Gardy: Can you go a couple more innings?
Baker: My arm is about to fall off.
Gardy: And?
Baker: Well, I may need for later on . . . in life.
Gardy: How about left handed? Can you throw left handed?
Baker: Reyes can.
Gardy: . . .
Baker: My arm is about to fall off.
Gardy: And?
Baker: Well, I may need for later on . . . in life.
Gardy: How about left handed? Can you throw left handed?
Baker: Reyes can.
Gardy: . . .
Who in the Twins bullpen is worth less than garbage?
A quick list:
DENNYS REYES IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
MATT GUERRIER IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
JESSE CRAIN IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
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The season is gone.
DENNYS REYES IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
MATT GUERRIER IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
JESSE CRAIN IS WORTH LESS THAN GARBAGE
------------------------------------------
The season is gone.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Another recent conversation...
Miguel Cabrera: Hey man, I pass you in RBI. I'm second in AL now. How you like that?
Justin Morneau: I get 4 with one swing of the bat.
Justin Morneau: I get 4 with one swing of the bat.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A recent conversation...
White Sox: Hey, we don't like winning or succeeding. You guys go ahead and take the central.
Twins: Oh yeah? You think you can give it away that easy? Watch THIS.
Twins: Oh yeah? You think you can give it away that easy? Watch THIS.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Jesse Crain is garbage
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Just wanted to make sure Google got that.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Jesse Crain is garbage.
Just wanted to make sure Google got that.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Nothing Says Yankees v. Red Sox Like...
Sidney Ponson v. Paul Byrd.
What, it was too late to get Ramon Ortiz off waivers? Someone made a claim on Livan Hernandez? The Mariners wanted too much for Carlos Silva?
What, it was too late to get Ramon Ortiz off waivers? Someone made a claim on Livan Hernandez? The Mariners wanted too much for Carlos Silva?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Bottom of the 14th...
Orioles lead by one. Two on, two out.
Griffey coming up.
Pop quiz, baseball fans! What should you do with Griffey here?
1. Pitch to him, because he is a pathetic shell of his former self who will undoubtedly hit a dribbler back to the mound.
2. Intentionally walk him, because you forgot it is 2008 and not 1993.
They got out of it, but still. That has to be the stupidest thing I've seen all season, and I've seen an awful lot of Punto.
Griffey coming up.
Pop quiz, baseball fans! What should you do with Griffey here?
1. Pitch to him, because he is a pathetic shell of his former self who will undoubtedly hit a dribbler back to the mound.
2. Intentionally walk him, because you forgot it is 2008 and not 1993.
They got out of it, but still. That has to be the stupidest thing I've seen all season, and I've seen an awful lot of Punto.
Double Your Fun
I'm sorry for the double, but Eddie is back and I think we should celebrate. Post your favorite Eddie G. moments if you so desire.
My favorite was the time against Oakland that he entered the 9th leading 5-1, gave up 3 runs, and we won 5-4. I don't know what stat they use for that kind of heart-stopping performance... but it certainly isn't a "save". Maybe a "Thank the fuck christ it's over".
Eddie had a lot of those.
He can't be any worse than Crain. Or Guerrier.
My favorite was the time against Oakland that he entered the 9th leading 5-1, gave up 3 runs, and we won 5-4. I don't know what stat they use for that kind of heart-stopping performance... but it certainly isn't a "save". Maybe a "Thank the fuck christ it's over".
Eddie had a lot of those.
He can't be any worse than Crain. Or Guerrier.
Oh my . . .
He has a gray beard now. He is a Twin again. I credit "The Brass" for addressing a need, however, they traded away some guy with the last name Hamburger. So, there is less hamburger in the Twins organization right now. Not good.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
How to beat the Twins
Have the Twins starting pitcher throw about 20 pitches per inning.
Q: How will we score for the first 5 innings?
A: I wouldn't worry about that.
Q: How will we score for the first 5 innings?
A: I wouldn't worry about that.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Live Diary of Today's White Sox Game
The announcers make reference to the White Sox being the "darlings" of the American League. I don't... I don't know what to say about that. Other than that I don't look at Jim Thome's ludicrously large head and face and think "darling".
A Radio Shack ad. Always reminds me of this:
Radio Shack
Quick first inning for the Rays, as they prefer to strike out more than to hit the ball. I don't know who 7 of these guys are, and if they keep swinging at slop like that, it will be a short honeymoon.
Little League world series is Hawai'i v. Louisiana. The pitcher for Hawai'i is almost 2 bills. I thought he was the DH. He looks like mini-Prince Fielder.
Every single thing about the White Sox is annoying. Including the D-Bag they have read their starting line ups. Good luck against Kazmir today, failures.
Speaking of, Kaz brings it high and tight to Orlando Cabrera, hitting the handle of the bat in his hands. I love seeing these in slow mo. You can actually watch Cabrera's bladder loosen up as the ball runs in towards his face.
OC hits a grounder to the second baseman, who throws to first. Which means 3 players who will be out of MLB in 4 years are involved in that play.
Swisher pops out. In related news, the sun rose this morning.
Carlos Quentin, another guy who stand in the box like he's sitting on the Tilt O Whirl, steps in. I think I saw this guy last night at Williams playing Golden Tee 2005 Tournament Edition.
Jim Thome - the announcers begin with the typical hall of fame talk, debating back and forth, and then he strikes out on a pitch that hits the plate. Can a man go to the hall of fame if he is physically incapable of hitting anything other than hanging curve balls for home runs?
Jermaine Dye launches a bomb for a 1-0 lead. Ramirez follows that up with a triple, which is nice, because it's going to hurt that much more when the bullpen pisses this one away.
Vazquez loses the no-hitter, then gives up two more hits because he's really not that good of a pitcher.
Dye bombs another one. Threat level in the White Sox bullpen right now: Orange.
And there goes Vazquez, slapping the ball in his hand in frustration. Is he frustrated at this game, or his life?
The wheels. They're awfully wobbly...
8th inning. Dribbler through the infield, they're loaded, and the dark clouds are falling. Mini-Ichiro to the plate.
Aaaaaaaaaaand it's a walk. Matt Thornton is the best you guys could do here? Seriously? The path to the central championship has never looked clearer.
BJ Upton to the plate. If he makes contact, we'll have to see if he runs or just jogs to first base.
Orlando Cabrera pulls a "White Sox" move and chooses to not catch the baseball that was hit right to him. We're tied, and there's still nobody out. Talk about failing on an epic scale.
Oh my. Oh my dear.
It's a 4 run inning right now. Pena lines one to right, Vazquez heads to the locker room, presumably to smash something (hopefully it's his head) and it's time to lower the boom.
Ozzie on to make a pitching change (what, you got Tony Fiore in there) as the rain starts to drop. This has been such a typical White Sox game, I'm just waiting for the three run hogg here to seal the deal.
The White Sox can't even execute a run-down properly. They take so long to catch BJ Upton that it leaves runners on second and third. Toby Hall is immensely overweight.
The Rays go down in the 9th, and Fox reminds us that Jermaine Dye is due up in the bottom of the inning. Is that supposed to be scary? They're forgetting... now the at bats actually MEAN something. I think Old Man Dye will find a way to pop this one up.
-----
Done.
Jim Thome up next. Here comes a strikeout.
Done.
And now for Griffey. Hmmm, let's go with "weak grounder".
Not quite. He fouls out, like Dye before him. God, when the game is on the line, I will bet against the White Sox every single time.
And that does it. The failure is complete, in front of a national audience. Anyone who thinks the Sox are going to be able to sustain success going forward needs to take a long look at the faces of this team.
A Radio Shack ad. Always reminds me of this:
Radio Shack
Quick first inning for the Rays, as they prefer to strike out more than to hit the ball. I don't know who 7 of these guys are, and if they keep swinging at slop like that, it will be a short honeymoon.
Little League world series is Hawai'i v. Louisiana. The pitcher for Hawai'i is almost 2 bills. I thought he was the DH. He looks like mini-Prince Fielder.
Every single thing about the White Sox is annoying. Including the D-Bag they have read their starting line ups. Good luck against Kazmir today, failures.
Speaking of, Kaz brings it high and tight to Orlando Cabrera, hitting the handle of the bat in his hands. I love seeing these in slow mo. You can actually watch Cabrera's bladder loosen up as the ball runs in towards his face.
OC hits a grounder to the second baseman, who throws to first. Which means 3 players who will be out of MLB in 4 years are involved in that play.
Swisher pops out. In related news, the sun rose this morning.
Carlos Quentin, another guy who stand in the box like he's sitting on the Tilt O Whirl, steps in. I think I saw this guy last night at Williams playing Golden Tee 2005 Tournament Edition.
Jim Thome - the announcers begin with the typical hall of fame talk, debating back and forth, and then he strikes out on a pitch that hits the plate. Can a man go to the hall of fame if he is physically incapable of hitting anything other than hanging curve balls for home runs?
Jermaine Dye launches a bomb for a 1-0 lead. Ramirez follows that up with a triple, which is nice, because it's going to hurt that much more when the bullpen pisses this one away.
Vazquez loses the no-hitter, then gives up two more hits because he's really not that good of a pitcher.
Dye bombs another one. Threat level in the White Sox bullpen right now: Orange.
And there goes Vazquez, slapping the ball in his hand in frustration. Is he frustrated at this game, or his life?
The wheels. They're awfully wobbly...
8th inning. Dribbler through the infield, they're loaded, and the dark clouds are falling. Mini-Ichiro to the plate.
Aaaaaaaaaaand it's a walk. Matt Thornton is the best you guys could do here? Seriously? The path to the central championship has never looked clearer.
BJ Upton to the plate. If he makes contact, we'll have to see if he runs or just jogs to first base.
Orlando Cabrera pulls a "White Sox" move and chooses to not catch the baseball that was hit right to him. We're tied, and there's still nobody out. Talk about failing on an epic scale.
Oh my. Oh my dear.
It's a 4 run inning right now. Pena lines one to right, Vazquez heads to the locker room, presumably to smash something (hopefully it's his head) and it's time to lower the boom.
Ozzie on to make a pitching change (what, you got Tony Fiore in there) as the rain starts to drop. This has been such a typical White Sox game, I'm just waiting for the three run hogg here to seal the deal.
The White Sox can't even execute a run-down properly. They take so long to catch BJ Upton that it leaves runners on second and third. Toby Hall is immensely overweight.
The Rays go down in the 9th, and Fox reminds us that Jermaine Dye is due up in the bottom of the inning. Is that supposed to be scary? They're forgetting... now the at bats actually MEAN something. I think Old Man Dye will find a way to pop this one up.
-----
Done.
Jim Thome up next. Here comes a strikeout.
Done.
And now for Griffey. Hmmm, let's go with "weak grounder".
Not quite. He fouls out, like Dye before him. God, when the game is on the line, I will bet against the White Sox every single time.
And that does it. The failure is complete, in front of a national audience. Anyone who thinks the Sox are going to be able to sustain success going forward needs to take a long look at the faces of this team.
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