"Swept by the fucking METS? What the fuck is going on here? I know we've played nearly every game so far this season on the road and on the east coast but...come on. The Pirates, the Nationals...the Reds and even the Mets. Last fucking place?"
"Well, I can understand your frustration. Although, as far as idyllic as we'd like, you know we've battled injuries so far this season. And we can't seem to--"
"I sat there and told you...and I remember this because we had sausage lasagna that day for lunch. You can't be winning games 10-8. And you sure as shit can't have 3 fucking errors a game! We're tied for the most errors in the league."
"Now, that is troubling. I think the biggest problem is the fact that despite a lot of holdover from last season, we don't have the same battery together. Our usual outfield is altered with Manny out with an injury."
"What's up, guys? Sorrry that I injure myself. Manny was batting over .400 before that. Think it's the fields of the other teams, you know? Manny's gonna get some new shoes now! Later!"
"You can't be talking about me either, Skip. I've got 7 Home Runs so far."
"That's a great stat, Matt, but I don't think about your fucking home runs when I watch you 'call' off Ethier on every fly ball. Looks like a puppy trying to catch a meatball in midair. I can't handle that. Look, Joe, every great Dodger team has a bulldog that can just hammer it fucking through. A quality start isn't 5 innings with 110 pitches! Hey - who the hell are you?"
"Hi, Mr. Lasorda. I started one of the doubleheader games in New York."
"Tommy, that's Jon Link...we've, uh, sent him back to Albuquerque."
"Hey Tommy! I think I've got this knuckler down now. Threw one in New York and it only took 14 seconds to get to home plate! Told ya!"
"Where the fuck are the Rolaids?"
3 comments:
Awesome. Don't know if you were actually in Santa Monica or not, but hey, The Monsoon, that'll get it going.
Yup, I was there, and have the parking ticket to prove it!
Tommy is without a doubt the best thing to ever happen to this blog.
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